In the Potter's Hands

As Mother Theresa said, "I know that God said He would not give us any more than we can handle.  I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
I was reminded of this last evening as I was conversing with my dear relative and friend.  We were discussing our children and how badly it hurts us when one of them is in pain, mentally. physically and/or emotionally.  She is having to watch one of her children suffer severe physical pain and is in great turmoil because of it.  She will give it all to our Father, I am certain, because she always does, but I know how difficult it is as a parent to let go and let Him work.  In the mean time we will be praying for them all.  Her greatest concern though is for his soul.  She asked that we pray more regarding that than his physical health. 
I shared with this sweet cousin that my heart was aching for my daughter-in-law and son who just lost their first child in miscarriage.  Having experienced this trauma in my personal life, I know the thoughts that plague, the physical pain involved and the ache in spirit that clings and makes you cry at the sight of a newborn or anything that has to do with one.  I also know that my son is hurting from the loss, but doubly having to watch the woman he loves suffer so.  The realization that God loves and trusts us to be able to bear these (as Mother Theresa realized as well)  things for His glory is what keeps us going.  Knowing that my lovely friend and relative is praying for me and she knowing I am praying for her helps tremendously. 
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.  Psalm 121:1-2

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2There are times when I feel as Mother Theresa did, that I wish God didn't trust me so much, and yet there is a joy in knowing that He does.  I am reminded of a time in my freshman year of high school.  I was sitting in English class and my teacher happened to be a member of the church our family attended.  He was quite angry with our class for something, but I do not remember what.  I knew I was not involved and therefore chose to tune out his lecture.  HUGE mistake.  He asked the class a question regarding Who we should be imitating.  He asked me personally for a response.  I hadn't heard the question!!  I just looked at him blankly.  He was utterly disappointed.  I could see the hurt in his eyes and I became ashamed of myself.  He was seeking someone to acknowledge Christ and had chosen to depend on me.  I had gravely failed the test.  The look in his eyes would haunt me to this day if I hadn't sought forgiveness and received it.Perhaps God allowed that occurrence in my life as an example to carry with me each time I was tempted or succeeded in tuning Him out.I remember another time shortly after this event where I was sitting in a revival meeting during the invitation.  As I sat with my head bowed I saw a vision of Whom I perceived to be Jesus.  He had tears in His eyes and disappointment oozed from Him.  Why?  Because I still had not truly received Him as my personal Savior and Lord.  I accepted Him as the Savior of the world, the Son of God and much more, but I was walking in pride and did not want the world to know that I had falsely been accepted as a member of the Body of Christ.  It was two more years before I gave in to His saving grace and humbled myself enough to go forward and admit the deception.

Would it have been better for me to never have experienced these painful events?  It would definitely have been less painful, but I may never have been able to swallow my pride otherwise.  Therefore, it would have been decidedly worse if I had not.

When I miscarried it was our fourth child.  It tore my heart out.  I grieved every time I purchased a shower gift for another baby or simply walked by the baby aisles in stores.  Do I wish it had never happened?  Of course, but I am privileged to know that my God trusted me to handle it so that now I can share my experience with others having the same difficulty and let them know they are not alone.  There is a God who loves them desperately and will heal them if they will let Him. 

Sin has saturated this world with evil.  Someone must be willing to experience the pain that comes in so many forms because of this, so that a dying world might come to realize its need of Jesus as Savior.  If my suffering will allow me to understand another person in theirs so that I can share with them the answers God has revealed to me through the struggle, then I need to be willing to suffer it.  I must remember the tears of anguish Jesus suffers each time one of His children is hurting and willingly become His hands and feet here on earth to minister to their needs.  How can I know what they are going through if I have never experienced it?  How willing am I to become more like Jesus, Who suffered for each and every one of my sins and heartaches that I might be healed and delivered?
Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

⁴Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.  Isaiah 53:1-6

We sings songs like the following:

I want to be helpful and loving, at home and at school and at play.

I wish I could be just like Jesus through every single day.

Jesus, Jesus, I want to be just like Him.

And one of my all time favorites:

Have Thine own way Lord, have Thine own way.

Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.

Mold me and make me after Thy will

While I am waiting yielded and still.

The problem we have is that, while we truly do want to be more like Jesus in His service to others in most ways, we do not want to have to be like Him when it comes to suffering.  In order to change the world, we must become like Him in every way, so may we make David's prayer our own:

Create in me a clean heart, O God,    and renew a right spirit within me.  Psalm 51:10

Father, You have blessed me far beyond anything I could ever imagine; A husband who loves me, three beautiful and talented children, seven (so far) awesome grandchildren, parents who reared me in Your Word, a home, a church family, joy that overwhelms me at unexpected moments, peace in knowing You are in charge, and so much more.  It shames me to think that I would quibble over a little discomfort.  When I am tempted to tune You out because I want my way, help me remember all You suffered for me so that I might turn back with a listening ear and welcoming heart to Your desires for my life to exhibit Your glory to those You place in my path.  Make me willing to suffer that I might learn to bear the burdens of others and lead them to a saving knowledge of You.  Grant me wisdom and discernment to know when, where and to whom You would have me pray for and/or reach out to in comfort and by what means to do so.