Friday, August 26, 2016

Security Squeals

Life, in general, seems scary.  As we walk along our path, we come to sharp turns and forks and become fearful that if we turn the corner we will be met by a tiger, or if we take the wrong road at the fork, we may be decimated. We need to remember to be like little children.

And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3 NIV

The first time I played hide and seek with any of my children and now grandchildren they would tiptoe around looking for me in fear that a boogeyman would jump out and get them unless they found me first.  Once they realized it would always be me at the end of the seeking and that if they couldn't find me then I would find them, they quit being fearful and joined in the hunt with glee. 
This was brought to my mind as I studied this morning.

I haven't written in quite a while, not because God was being silent, nor because I wasn't seeking more of Him, but because sometimes life becomes so entangled that God lays it on my heart to take time off and just be quiet with Him. I need those times, as we all do, to simply be still, be held and know that He alone is God. Today He laid it in my heart to take up computer and write again.

The people who know their God will display strength and take action.  Daniel 11:32 NASV

I have been dealing with physical pain in my hands, feet, outside left leg, lower back and shoulders for a while now, ever since my son-in-law, whom I have loved as a birth son for almost twenty years now, decided he wants a divorce.  This was quite a shock to my system and allowed fibromyalgia to find a weak spot to manifest itself.  I am not blaming him.  It is weakness in myself that allowed it.  I let fear take hold of my heart; fear of other loved ones reactions, fear for my daughter and their 4 children and the grief of loss.  I am now returning to that childlike faith that reminds me it will be Father God I find waiting just around the corner and in the fork of the road regardless which path I take.  He always goes before me and encompasses me to protect me when I let Him. 

Yesterday I was playing with our youngest grandson, who is twenty months old now.  All at once I ran off and hid.  We have played this game many a time now, so he no longer has any fear of it at all.  I called out for him to come find me.  He squealed and took off running to do so.  When he found me, even though I yelled "boo!" he simply grinned and ran to hug me, then asked, "More?"  So we did it again...and again....and again.  He knows that I will be there and will keep him from harm.

This morning, as I contemplated how divorce is indeed worse than the death of a loved one, because the scab of healing keeps getting pulled off over and over again to refresh the wound, and how I would possibly never again hear "Hi, Mom," and gain a hug from this one I hold dear, God reminded me of this simple game of hide and seek yesterday.  He whispered to me that I needed to trust Him.  He will be around every corner as well as walking with me everywhere I go.  I need to remember that squeal of delight as my little grandson runs to find me and do the same as I seek His will in my life.
I will rise up and take action and hopefully do so with glee. Then perhaps I will get to hear God speak to my heart the words Daniel heard in Daniel 12:13

"But as for you, go your way to the end; then you will enter into rest and rise again for your allotted portion at the end of the age."