Wanna Wrestle?

Genesis 32:22-32

Jacob wrestled with God until he was crippled and blessed. 

This passage of Scripture has always made me walk away shaking my head in wonder.  My biggest question has always been, "Why did God wrestle with him in the first place?"  He didn't have to.  He proved that by touching Jacob's leg in such a way that it was literally driven out of socket the rest of his life, making him walk with a limp.  He could have simply said, "Who do you think you are?  You are a mere human which I created.  Do you really think you can win this battle?"  However, if He had, Jacob would not only have gone away defeated, but would have lost all hope left within himself.

Jacob had been reminding God of how He had promised to make a great nation out of his family line.  Now (at least in his imagination) his brother Esau was on his way to kill him and take all he had.  Why?  Well....it's basically what Jacob had done to Esau years before when he tricked their father Isaac into giving himself Esau's rightful blessing.  The human response to injustice is usually to perform retribution.  It is not what God wants of us, but it is human nature.  Jacob refused to let go of God's promise, even in the face of possible death.  He clung to God in a choking grip.  He wanted that blessing no matter the cost.  He received it, with a price.  He became handicapped; mildly, granted, but handicapped all the same.  God would never have gone back on His promise to Jacob, but Jacob evidently needed convincing.  So God wrestled with him.  Sounds funny to us, but God is smarter than we are and knows exactly what it takes to get us where He wants us to be.

My next question then becomes, "What do I want badly enough to cling to God and His promises no matter what the cost in my personal life?" 

Knowing that my greatest enemy besides Satan himself is myself, I recognize that in many ways I am weak.  Yesterday in Sunday School we were discussing how knowing Jesus has changed our lives.  My oldest grandson asked how it had changed mine.  I told him that before I accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord, I walked in fear.  He asked what kind of fears I had.  I explained that I was afraid to walk down the street for fear I'd be kidnapped or attacked by an animal; afraid to go to sleep because I might not wake up; afraid to ask the neighbor to borrow a cup of sugar because the husband might answer the door and call me "babydoll." I don't know why, but that absolutely terrified me.  I no longer have those fears.  I then asked, "What's the worst that could happen to me?"  They answered, "Murder."  I then said, "I'd just end up in heaven."  Then my oldest grandson said, "Capture and torture and not dying."  I told him that , yes, that was probably the worst, but what do I know that anyone would need to get from me that I wouldn't freely tell them?  God will always give us the strength to face what we must.  That ended the conversation and we went on to finish our projects.  However, I admit that many times in my life I have cried out to God that if I were ever tortured for my faith, He would give me the strength and grace to endure to the end.  

The one thing I want more than anything else in this life is to see my children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren walking with the Lord with everything they possess.  I wrestle with God on this on occasion.  What is the cost?  I must set the example.  Am I willing?  Will I hang on, clinging tightly when the battle gets tough or will I let go and blame God, claiming it must not be His will?  I pray it may never be so!!

Lord, grant me the inner strength to keep clinging to You and Your promises all throughout my life so that I may be a testimony to my children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren of the wealth hidden in Your word through faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.  May Your Spirit grant me wisdom and knowledge daily as I strive to do my best in serving You.  Keep me from giving in to weariness of soul in order to gain the prize at the end of life's battle as I enter eternity with You.  May my life be a beacon drawing every family member into Your kingdom regardless of what I must personally endure, that they might find refuge in You.