Listener's Prayer

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,  so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.  Philippians 1:9-11  (ESV)

There are times when I am amazed at how easily someone will tell their life story to a complete stranger.  Yesterday in the worship service I sat down next to a lady I had never met and she began sharing her life story.  I am not a great conversationalist, but know how to listen when someone is needing to be heard.  This dear, hurting lady needed someone to listen and had chosen me.  I considered this a high privilege in the face of having just met her.  Her's was a sad story that grieved me.  I told her I would be praying for her and her family and have been. 

What makes people trust other people?  Perhaps, in this case, she assumed I was a fellow believer and so would understand how she felt, even though not everyone who attends church is truly a believer.  Other times it may be that they figure they will never see you again, so why not?  Perhaps it is in the person's demeanor that makes us feel they are a safe refuge, or a genuineness in their smile.  Whatever the case,  I had been chosen. 

Part of being a good listener is not giving advice.  It is probably the most difficult part of learning to pray for others.  Learning to listen without judging and thinking we have the answer they need to hear do not go hand in hand.  The truth is, unless they ask for advice, they are not ready to receive it. We may know the answer as given in God's word, but we need to also know that unless a person is ready to receive it, we will only make them more resentful and angry, not to mention confused.  Asking if they would like advice doesn't count either, because many people will say they do when they don't so as to not offend.  They may walk away with a smile while inwardly seething.  I have had to be reminded of this over and over again throughout my life.  Too many times I have had to ask forgiveness for stepping in where I did not belong and sometimes making matters worse.  I am so glad that when we ask forgiveness He not only grants it, but will continue turning the problem into good despite us.

I became engaged to my wonderful husband at seventeen.  I was happy, because I knew that I knew I was doing what God wanted.  However, there were times when we would blow up at each other and people would immediately come to give me advice.  "You're too young anyway."  "How can you be sure he's the right one?" "You shouldn't let him get away with talking to you like that."  And many more as well. This advice was given with good intent and, I am sure, out of love and concern for my well being.  All this did, however, was confuse me and make me feel more sorry for myself than I already did, and believe me, I was great at feeling sorry for myself.  What people didn't understand was that God was using those times to grow me up to a more mature individual before marriage.  I needed to realize that some of the things I found amusing or intellectually stimulating were irritating and seemed rather condescending to others.  So, though in my mind I had done nothing wrong, I needed to see that my motives were sometimes petty and self-centered.  In other words, God was using those times of dissension to make me a better person.  Yes, God's word says our husbands should love us as Christ loved the church - He died for her because she was so filled with sin.  My future husband was willing to risk losing me to help me grow up.  So you can see that sometimes we think we have the answers, but in reality, we have no idea where God is taking any particular person at any given time.  This is not to say that when someone is telling you about a plan to hurt themselves or someone else that you should not step in.  It could be hazardous if we didn't.  However, when someone is just telling us how they feel or about events taking place that they are having to deal with, unless they ask advice, simply pray.  I have found it really blesses people for you to tell them you will be praying as well. 

And how should we pray?  Pray that their love may abound more and more.  Pray they receive knowledge from God along with discernment so they may know right from wrong and make godly decisions.  Pray they may walk in the Spirit of almighty God, doing His will in every situation, determined to remain faithful no matter what the cost.  Pray they might be filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through knowing Jesus Christ and that all they say and do might bring glory and praise to Father God.  This is the prayer of my heart for all brothers and sisters in Christ.