Life's Lessons

Years ago I was given an acronym that I have used many a time in my life.  F-False E-Evidence A-Appearing R-Real.  When hit with something that brings dread to my thought life, I bring this to the forefront of my mind and begin to pray; for strength to continue clinging to my Lord.  Nothing else really matters at that tiny point in time but for me to continue holding on.  It makes it possible to maintain clear thought processes, accomplish anything that I personally need to do during that time, keep peace in my heart as well as on my lips and most importantly, to observe the Lord at work. 
Living under constant threat weakens our immune system and can cause cardiovascular damage, gastrointestinal problems such as ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome, and decreased fertility.
Fear can impair formation of long-term memories and cause damage to certain parts of the brain, such as the hippocampus. This can make it even more difficult to regulate fear and can leave a person anxious most of the time. To someone in chronic fear, the world looks scary and their memories confirm that.
Moreover, fear can interrupt processes in our brains that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and other information presented to us, reflect before acting, and act ethically. This impacts our thinking and decision-making in negative ways, leaving us susceptible to intense emotions and impulsive reactions. All of these effects can leave us unable to act appropriately.
Other consequences of long-term fear include fatigue, clinical depression, accelerated aging, and even premature death.
So whether threats to our security are real or perceived, they impact our mental and physical wellbeing.
(From Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing - internet)
Yesterday, around 3:30 pm, I noticed my husband was looking pale, shaky and acted as if he were feeling nauseated.  He asked me to take his blood pressure.  It kept erroring out.  I finally got a reading of 198/128.  He didn't want me to call the nurse at first, but I finally did anyway.  I asked if this was something that sometimes happens and was told a definitive no.  She told me to monitor him every 15 minutes.  If it didn't start going down right away, go to emergency.  If it happens again, go to emergency.  So I spent the rest of the evening squeezing the poor man's arm over and over again.  It did begin to go down, but fluctuated a bit here and there.  Each time it fluctuated up a bit, I had to pray.  Fear would try to take me.  At one point I said to myself, "Enough is enough."  I got on my knees and told God that I was going to hang on no matter what.  I also had to admit to Him how I was feeling, so I confessed that fear was pulling on me, dumping on me and trying hard to get me to let even one hand free, but I refused.  However, I really wanted my husband to be completely healthy!  I admitted I was getting tired and so was very tempted to tell Him what to do.  Even though I know that I know He knows what is very best for our lives, I needed to tell Him that what I wanted was to not be a widow for a very long time, and actually not at all.  I don't think I would make a very good widow.  Amazingly enough, admitting this to God gave me strength to keep hanging on even tighter and keep on taking blood pressure..  Around 11:00 pm, Michael said, "One more time and then we are going to bed."  I agreed and that is what we did.  We slept until almost 3 am.  At that time he woke up with pain in his upper back and moved to the couch.  I took his blood pressure again.  It was still going down slowly.  I went back to bed and we both slept the rest of the night.  This morning his reading was 139/89, so we're getting there. 
It would be a lie to say accepting Jesus as your Savior and Lord removes all worry and fear.  Instead, the Christian is promised that we will be plagued by problems due to the thief who comes to steal from us, desires to kill us and, even more so, destroy our testimony.  If we are not walking close to God, we can be guaranteed Satan won't care quite so much.  He cares, but as long as we have no desire to get to know our heavenly Father any better, he knows we will remain weak. Why?  It is easy to rob the weak.  When we determine within ourselves to get to know Father God, Satan begins deviously looking for ways to manipulate us out of the idea.  He knows that the closer we get to God, the more we become like Him, and that goes against all his lousy plans for us.  We begin to fully grasp the truth of Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Years ago I taught 5th-6th grade in Sunday School.  I remember the results of one particular lesson quite well.  A young girl in my class listened intently, asking questions along the the way, as I taught on love being a choice rather than a feeling.  I explained that we choose to love people and then we act on it.  The feelings come later as we continue to "walk in love" through our actions, always seeking the person's best.  This young lady had a terrible relationship with her earthly dad.  He was verbally abusive evidently and made her feel that he had no love for her at all.  However, she admitted that she had been very disrespectful over the years and that this was part of the problem.  She decided to go home and try what had been taught.  She came back the next week and told me it didn't work.  I asked what she was talking about.  She explained that she had gone home, told her dad she loved him and did all he had asked of her without complaining.  He continued being mean.  I asked how long their relationship had been going bad.  She replied that it had been going on for several years.  Then I asked, "If you have been treating your dad with disrespect for several years, why do you think you can correct the damage and get him to trust you in just one week?"  She became silent and said no more.  I have thought of this many times over the years and pray that she and her dad were able to forgive and love each other, but have never heard what happened.
It is the same with our Christian walk.  We tend to get it into our heads that the moment we come to Christ we should be completely changed.  In the sense that our heart has been filled with His love, we have been changed. However, there are things in our lives we have been building on for years and it will take years of getting to know Him more fully to get us to trust Him enough to allow Him to change them in us.  Fear is one of the bigger things.  If we have been clinging to fear, thinking we cannot love someone very much if we are not worrying about them; or cannot possibly care about results of a situation if we do not dwell on it, then it is going to take some time to pry those fingers loose of our treasured possession - fear.  This is true of every lie we have ever been told and clung to.  So be alert and watch, for the very things we treasure most in this life are the same things that can keep us from getting to know our Deliverer enough to be set free.
When David was being chased so that he could be slaughtered by Saul, he cried out to God and this is what he said:
The Lord is my Rock and my Fortress and my Deliverer.  My God, my Rock in Whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call upon the Lord, Who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.  Psalm 18:2-3 (ESV)
He was able to say these truths about God only because he had spent many years of his life getting to know his Maker.  He knew God always had his best at heart and that even if God chose not to deliver him from Saul in this life, he would be delivered through death here and life everlasting with his God.  It didn't happen over night, but over a lifetime.