Clinging to Joy

¹³ If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. ¹⁵ For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. ¹⁶ For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
¹⁷ But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. ¹⁸ And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3  (NLT)
 It is so easy to watch others, see their happiness and allow ourselves to become bitterly jealous.  We cannot fathom why some people are so happy and we are so miserable.  Why, we ask ourselves, does it seem everyone else around me is happy and I am so miserable?  Life just isn't fair!!  What we neglect to discover is that those who seem happiest are sometimes swamped with problems; they have simply chosen the better way and it isn't happiness...it is joy.  Happiness is superficial and comes only from external happenings.  Both words (happy and happenings) come from the same root - hap, which in old English means "good luck." Joy, on the other hand, comes from the Latin gaudia and Greek gaio, both which mean "to rejoice."  (online etymology dictionary)  We all, every human being alive on the face of planet Earth has the same choice to make.  Will we seek happiness or live joy?  There is only One Source of true joy.  If we choose to turn our backs on that Source, then we have chosen superficial lives of happiness and to rely on our circumstances.  October 18, 2014 began like any other day in our household.  I woke by six a.m., read my Bible, prayed and started the daily routine of straightening the house.  My husband woke up and we checked to see what groceries we needed for the coming week and went to the store.  Shortly after we returned home, our daughter called to see if I would go shopping with her for clothes for their older son.  I agreed and we headed to the mall.  Four (yes, I  wrote four) hours later my husband called and asked if we were about finished.  He sounded a little agitated.  I figured he was hungry, as we hadn't had dinner.  I told him that yes, we were almost done and I was exhausted.  We should be home quite soon.  After I hung up, my daughter said she needed to make one more stop.  I agreed, but said it needed to be quick, as her daddy was hungry and tired.  As we were leaving the last store, my husband called again to tell me we had somewhere to go when I got home.  I assured him we would be there in ten minutes and hung up.  When we made it back to the house, our granddaughter wanted to come inside and see "Kpa."  He was dressed in casual dress clothes, so I decided he must want to eat out.  Our granddaughter gave him hugs and ran back to the car.  As soon as the car pulled from the driveway, I asked where he wanted to go.  He smiled that sideways smile and said quite calmly, "the hospital."  I smiled and asked why.  He continued smiling and told me he had been having chest pressure all day.  He had gone to Walmart to check his blood pressure.  It was 217 over 125.  He said he had thought, "now that ain't right," drove home and took an aspirin.  After a bit, he decided to see if he could bring the pressure feeling back or if it was over, so did forty (that's 40) jumping jacks.  He said he ended up lying in the floor on his back unable to move.  That is when he called me the second time.I looked at him, my heart skipping a beat and said, "Okay then, let's go."  This story is a bit long, so it may take a few writings to get it all in.  However, I want to make certain that anyone who reads this gets a full grasp of how wonderful, loving and compassionate our God truly is.If anyone had been looking in on my husband and me that night, they would have thought the fact that we were so calm about this whole thing rather strange, I am sure.  What needs to be understood is that God had been preparing me for this for quite some time.  A few years ago, sitting in church, we began to sing "I Surrender All."  A question floated through my mind, "Have you?"It wasn't too many weeks before that that I had surrendered my children and grandchildren over to God, thanking Him that He knew what was best for their lives.  This was an extremely difficult process for me as I tend to be a momma bear over all of them.  I had to come to the place of admitting that God knows more than I.  He knows what truly is very best for each of their lives.  I only know what I think is best.  Anyway, I knew where God was going with this and I didn't want to go there!!  I continued to sing and God continued to ask.  I began to cry and had to sit down.  Finally, I said, "Okay, Lord.  I surrender my husband into Your complete care.  If I one day have to be without him, I choose to love, trust, praise and worship You.  You will never leave me or forsake me, so I choose You."  I continued to cry and pray a bit longer, but walked away feeling more secure in my relationship with my heavenly Father than ever before.  Other things happened along the path to our hospital trip that warned me of its approach, but this was the most significant and the one that kept me calm.  I knew that I knew - God has our best interests at heart and will bring those things about.  That is not to say I didn't cry.  Of course I did!  The loneliness that came over me at the thought of possibly losing my husband grieved me!  But I have a heavenly Father to turn to and turn to Him I did!!  I buried my face in His robes and clung to Him with everything I had.  It wasn't easy.  Outside forces tried to pull me away.  They tugged, prodded, jabbed, screamed at me, but I refused to let go.  I was too scared of what would happen if I did, so I held on for dear life and smiled at the knowledge that as long as I did so, all was well.More tomorrow, if the Lord permits.