Conformed or Transformed?

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. II Corinthians 3:18

Conform: to be similar to or the same as something

: to obey or agree with something
: to do what other people do : to behave in a way that is accepted by most people

Transform:  to change in composition or structure
:to change the outward form or appearance of
:to change in character or condition
(both definitions from Merriam-Webster)

 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

I was once asked what the first thing on my mind was when I woke in the morning. At the time I had to confess that it was, “What do I need to get done before I go to work?” The point was then made that the first thing on our minds when we woke up would be the focus of our day. When I thought about it, the speaker was correct. What must I accomplish was still on my mind when I entered the work place and when I returned home. Busy, busy, busy, too busy to do much more than pray for thirty seconds and read a few verses of Scripture before going to sleep. On top of that, I was pretty proud of myself for getting in that much “time with God.”
Later it was brought to my attention that the thing I did the most, paid attention to the most, was my god. This scared me. Not the kind of scared where you want to run away and hide, but the kind of fear that makes you fall to your knees in repentance. I had been telling God I didn't have time do read and pray more because of my tight schedule, when in actuality, if I gave up watching TV for just ½ hour in the evening, I could use that time in prayer and study. That was not too much to ask and was a starting place at least. However, TV was not my god, so it wasn't too difficult to give up some of it.

A few months later, basically the same question was asked of me, but worded differently; “What do you spend most of your hours in the day doing?” I knew I had to face the fact that reading novels constantly had become a god in my life.This was not so easy to give up. As a matter of fact, just as any habit, it was like pulling teeth. I rationalized that the majority of the books I read were by Christian authors, so that made it all right. I then rationalized that I needed some quiet alone time to just sit back and relax a while each evening. That backfired quickly and loudly as I realized that I could be better refreshed by prayer and reading God's word. I was taken back to a time several years before when I started my day in prayer and study and I remembered how blessed, refreshed and energized I felt because of it. I heard when God spoke and it was much easier to do the things He lay on my heart to do. Now how did my days go? I felt frustrated at work, frustrated when I came home and collapsed at bedtime. I decided to take the advice of the speaker and start each morning with a simple prayer of thanks for being given a new day and a new opportunity and then ask God to help me see and take those opportunities to serve.  I would then read just one chapter of scripture and begin my day. I was told this would take all of about three minutes, but to realize that if I actually followed through, I would most probably end up wanting more. 
Long story shortened: After a few months of this I told God that I wanted more of Him, because I did. My days were better, I was more patient and caring, but I still was not hearing His voice the way I had back before I started working outside our home and began each day in the word and prayer for much longer than three minutes. So I increased my time to fifteen minutes. I had to get up a bit earlier to do so, but the lack of fifteen minutes sleep was nothing in comparison to the joy I felt when I began to hear His voice once in a while again.
Now I work at home. I still wake up an hour before the world thinks is necessary most days. I come before God in prayer and Bible study for as long as it takes, sometimes a half hour, sometimes and hour, sometimes I start and finish later because it is what I need to do, but I hear His voice now and I am refreshed in it. Simply reading and praying are wonderful, but His voice is what brings me the most refreshment. It is like a cool summer breeze on parched skin; a drink of water after a hard workout; the hug of a child at any time. It feels like all this and more!! When I hear His voice my heart leaps and I strain to hear more. He doesn't raise His voice and his message is instantaneous. I do not have to wait for explanation. It is given in a fleeting moment. I marvel at how time seems to stand still as I am given new insight. Sometimes He directs me to share and sometimes He lets me know this is just for me for now. I may get to share later, but for the time being I need to revel in it and make it a part of my life by meditating on it as I work and play.
The problem I have now? I want all those I love to know the same joy I have each day with God, but I know the work involved and how difficult it is to make ourselves get to that place. It isn't that God is not speaking, but that we are not listening.

The other morning I was thinking about how badly it hurts when one of my loved ones teases me about my faith. The hurt isn't personal, but I hurt for them, knowing they simply don't understand why I am the way I am and why I refuse to go back to the way I was. It hit me that I need to remember that pain and realize that God feels this a billion times over each day as billions of His children antagonize each other, make excuses for not serving, for not attending church, for holding on to bitterness and so many other things. We are all guilty at one time or another. It is much easier to give in to our personal desires than to fight the good fight of faith and keep going. 

Lord, I know You must be deeply grieved by the behavior of us, Your children, yet You keep on loving us, having faith in us and trusting us to eventually come back to You and allow You to transform us to be more like You. For many years I have prayed that You would conform my family to Your will. That is no longer my deepest desire Father!! I no longer want us to simply behave like You. The world can do that if they try really hard. No, I ask rather that You would transform us into the very image of Your Son Jesus. No longer do I ask that You change us on the outside so that I can physically see a change in behavior, but I ask that You would transform us, so that no matter what others may think (and they will think us weird, strange, and out of place) we will seek Your face, listen to Your voice and become obedient, even to the point of death; physical death perhaps, but definitely death to self and the lusts of the flesh.  Help me now do as You have for me.  Help me to love and trust You even when I do not physically see results.  In Jesus' most precious and holy name I pray - AMEN!!