Water Walking

Sitting in the classroom with my youngest grandson and watching the light in his eyes as he accomplishes a new task, learns a new concept or succeeds in perfecting the art of drawing a particular letter brings satisfaction.  However, the best and most encouraging part of the day comes when I tell him it is time to do Bible reading.  He has told me multiple times that this is his favorite part of our day.  When I say, "time for Bible reading!"  He grabs his blanket and runs for the child sized couch we have against the wall and waits for me patiently, always with an expectant look on his face.  When we finish I will usually ask a pertinent question.  He always answers with serious enthusiasm.  We then pray, which he is always more than happy to do.  His faith in and love for Jesus makes me ashamed; ashamed that adults such as myself proclaim faith, but walk in so little of it. 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrews 12:2

God has been dealing with me on this issue off and on for most of my life.  There are times when I just know what God is going to do and I am able to walk in faith without being double minded in the least.  But there are other times when I struggle greatly, and recently I have been struggling indeed. 

Sunday morning I taught my class the lesson about Peter getting out of the boat and walking on the water with Jesus.  I told them how exciting it was until Peter took his eyes off Jesus and started looking at the storm.  What happened then?  He sank!  Admittedly Jesus was right there to pull him out when he cried out for help.  I wonder what would have happened if he had not.....Rather than chase that rabbit, what if he had kept his eyes on Jesus?  Obviously he would have made it to Jesus and they would have walked back to the boat in great joy and probably laughter.  Instead, even though he was saved, he walked back ashamed at the failure. 
Such is my life in what seems to be so many places.  while I am praying and/or studying God's word I am full of faith and trusting Him to do all that He promises in His word.  Then I walk into this nightmare of a world and have problem after problem thrown at me and I start sinking.  I cry out to God for help and He pulls me up once again. 

There is a childrens' verse that was written long ago that goes something like this:

I want to be helpful and loving

At home and at school and at play.

I wish I could be just like Jesus

In every single way.

Jesus, Jesus, I want to be just like Him.

I indeed want to be like Him, but just how badly?

The scripture above says it all: Jesus endured the cross and the shame for the joy that He was keeping His eyes on at all times - our salvation.  There was nothing He wanted more than for us to spend eternity with Himself, so He endured....more than I can ever possibly envision.  Pain, disgrace, shame, separation from His Father, loneliness, rejection by the ones He loved more than not simply His life, but everything.  He gave up His home of glory to come to this wretched earth; an earth that he had created in perfection and we had destroyed through greed and pride and still are in the process of destroying today.  It brought Him joy to think of what going to the cross would bring about.  Talk about amazing!  Are we even capable of loving like that?  Not without His Spirit living within us.  Without Him we cannot even really begin to grasp that kind of love.  We might be willing to die for someone, but loving those who hate us would be out of the question.  Even with his Spirit it is easier to shove His love within us aside and become angry, resentful, bitter, etc. toward even brothers and sisters in Christ, let alone the lost.  Misunderstandings (or miscommunications if you prefer), teasing, getting even, and so much more, bring us to the point of not simply sin, but utter rebellion against the One who gave Himself on our behalf so that we could live without such nonsense.  Yet here am I, doubting that He can repair the damage done in others lives.  I pray for someone to learn to forgive and then feel hopeless when they continue to hold a grudge or grab hold of a new one.  When I pray for someone with an angry temperament to learn joy and they begin to gripe at me about something, I start grieving inside all over again as if I had never asked God's intervention in the first place. 

Pastor Kenny is preaching a series on Habakkuk.  It is all about finding hope in this world.  The lessons God is having me teach deal with keeping our eyes on our hope - Jesus - in every situation, my neighbor brings me a study guide on the book of Hebrews about learning to endure through every situation.  I think I am supposed to learn something here.  First, quit listening to bad reports about others.  Rather I should simply pray and keep my eyes on the solution - Jesus.  Second, I need to stop dwelling on the negative and uphold the positive.  When the enemy throws negative thoughts my way I need to quote scripture such as Colossians 3:
 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Last of all I need to remember who it is that is trying to rob me of my "peace in the midst of the storm." 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  John 10:10
After all, I have Jack Dawson's painting entitled this (Peace in the Midst of the Storm) as a reminder hanging over our sofa to help me remember.

So Lord, I come to You again in remorse that I have allowed myself to be drawn off track in fear regarding different loved ones.  I ask that You would continue speaking to my heart, guiding me through friends and Your word and opening my eyes of faith to help me see that if I will simply keep my eyes and heart stayed on Thee, I will walk in peace, joy and victory rather than defeatism, negativity and loss.  You have already won the war, I simply need to be patient and fixed on You.  I need not dwell on sinking in the storm, but rejoice in the knowing that You have my hand in Yours, drawing me up and helping me walk on the water in the midst of the storm.