Who am I?

Who am I?  I have asked myself this question many times in my life.  Today I read a bit about David's young life as a shepherd.  The focus was on the fact that shepherding was not the glorious job we tend to make it in our imaginations.  Because Jesus said that He is the Good Shepherd (John chapter 10) and the Great Shepherd (Hebrews 13) we tend to think of it as a profession that was considered noble and rather sought after.  Truth be told, the shepherds were considered the lowliest of the low. 

“The Mishnah, Judaism’s written record of the oral law… describes [shepherds] as “incompetent”… says no one should ever feel obligated to rescue a shepherd who has fallen into a pit… Jeremias documents the fact that shepherds were deprived of all civil rights. They could not fulfill judicial offices or be admitted in court as witnesses.” ~ Eternal Perspective Ministries

“Shepherds of Jesus time were considered, by the general populace, generally untrustworthy… Even worse, their work made them ceremonially unclean… because they had daily contact with carcasses of animals and came into contact… with all sorts of unclean animals… So, surprisingly, when the angelic announcement arrives, it comes first to the social outcasts of Jesus’ day.” ~ Holy Ordinary

This was a job usually given to the youngest son in the family, as was the case with David.  While most were relieved to give up the position when a younger brother came along, David doesn't seem to have minded being a shepherd one bit.  Rather it appears he used it as an opportunity for getting to know his God better.  Shepherding was a lonely, dirty, rather dangerous, (when it came to protecting the sheep from predators) and sometimes boring position to hold.  When we read the Psalms David wrote, especially the 23rd, we see that he did not look down on shepherding, but compared it to God's love and protection he received on a daily basis.  David knew who he was, accepted the fact and chose to be glad in it.  So again I ask myself, who am I and do I choose to be glad in it?

I am a mother.  Today it is considered a little more admirable to be a stay at home mom than when I became one.  As a matter of fact, I was once asked why I chose the easy way out and stayed home with my children?  It was asked by a sister in Christ no less.  I realize now that she was simply regurgitating what she had been led to believe as she went through schooling.  In fourth grade our daughter was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up.  She replied, "A teacher."  The teacher who asked looked at her and asked, "Why?  You can be anything you choose to be.  Why would you choose teacher?"  My daughter was quite hurt by this.  I told her that her teacher was quite correct.  She could be whatever she felt God wanted her to be and if that was a teacher, then so be it.  She should follow her heart and do what God asked of her or she would never be content.  She is a vocal choir teacher in a middle school and gives private voice and piano lessons, is quite content and does a remarkable job.  God has worked through her to bring about many first place trophies in choir to the school district and she has been asked what her secret is.  Her answer?  She doesn't have one - she simply does the best she knows to do and expects the best her students have to give, which is exactly what God wants of us - our best in whatever He gives us to do.  Going back to the question I was asked - I gave no real reply.  I was dumbfounded by the question.  I personally thought and still think (as I have been both a stay at home mom and a working outside the home one) that it is much more challenging to stay at home and care for your children than to go to work each day and lay the responsibility of child care on someone else.  In today's society, with the economy the way it is, it is almost impossible for moms to stay at home though.  Instead they are forced to try and find a trustworthy caregiver for their child and often find quite the opposite.  Which comes to another me.

I am a grandmother.  I have the joy of being trusted with my grandchildrens' care.  I have been doing this for going on eight years now.  I took an early retirement in order to be there for my children so they could financially afford to have a family.  I am now down to caring for my currently youngest grandson 99% of the time.  There is a day here and there that I have more - when someone gets sick, there is a professional development day, etc. When I first took on this responsibility I had forgotten just how much work is involved in all day caring of children.  Yes, I worked with over 600 children on a daily basis when working for the school district, but it is completely different.  Yes, it made me tired, but my patience wasn't tried on a moment by moment basis as it is when you are caring for children you love more than life itself for a ten hour day.  When you are mom and at home, it is a 24-7 job of emotions running up and down, patience being shredded, housework being destroyed and redone, cooking and feeding, diaper changing, and so much more!!  I remember when I first became a mom, my husband would come home and ask what I had been doing with my day.  I wanted to slap him!!  What hadn't I been doing would have been the better question!!   Anyway, it took almost two years before I realized once again that, even though it is exhausting work, there is nothing that brings greater satisfaction and joy than giving your all to those you love.

I could list many more of the who I ams, but my favorite is wife.  Anyone who has read what I have written in the past knows the truth of this. There was, however, a time when it wasn't my favorite.  I was selfish and thought my husband's world should revolve around me.  Going to work all the time, taking every call that came his way, always seeking ways to help others seemed to put me in last place.  When I was finally slapped in the face with the reality that everything he did was with me in mind, my perspective changed.  It is the same with God.  Everything he does is with His children in mind.  It may seem at times like we are forgotten.  We want it to always appear that we are the center of God's world, when the truth is, He should be the center of ours.  We are already the center of His.  He tells us we are the apple of His eye, (For thus says the LORD of hosts, "After glory He has sent me against the nations which plunder you, for he who touches you, touches the apple of His eye. Zechariah 2:8) our name is “engraved on the palms of his hands.” (Is.49:16 )  He is always thinking about us, but is He our Center? 

If Christ is my Center, I should never look down on any position in which He places me.  I should not look on anyone else' position as being greater than the one He has given me. Rather I should be looking for ways of knowing Him better through it.  Who am I? A child of the Most High God....what better position is there to be?  What difference does it make if I am the youngest in faith and therefore doing what may be considered the lowliest of the lowly jobs or the eldest in the faith and holding many positions?  Does either place make me any less a child of the King? 

Father, may I learn to respect any and every position You place me in.  May I grow in grace and faith because of it.  Help us, Your children, learn to love and respect the jobs You give us and to honor those who seem to be doing less in the world's eye view than we may be viewed as doing.  May we never look down on each other for holding different responsibilities or look down on ourselves, holding others  as being greater than ourselves due to the positions they hold.  Help us take great joy in knowing we are of any use to You at all and revel in knowing that You are thinking of us at all times, even if it doesn't always feel like it.  Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  This is what the ancients were commended for.  Hebrews 11:1-2  May we walk in faith rather than by sight.  In Jesus' precious name.