Waiting

To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O, my God, in You I trust....
Make me know Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I will wait all the day.
Psalm 25:1,4-5

As a child my parents were always saying how patient I was.  I would sit for as long as it took to get a necklace untangled, a math problem (logarithms especially as we had to do them without a calculator) completely solved, a paper written, etc.  However, they could only see on the outside.  Many times I truly was patient inwardly as well as outwardly, but there were times when I would want to scream, throw that necklace, or simply give up, but I would push down those feelings and continue until finished.  I don't consider that patience, but sheer strong-willed determination.
Most people do not consider me strong-willed.  They say I have a strong sense of right and wrong, or that I am dedicated to tasks, etc., but the truth is, if I had my own way, I would quit most of the things I start, but my will overcomes my wants.  I don't consider being strong-willed a bad thing, simply something that needs to learn discipline.   I want to eat a quart of ice cream a day, but my will overcomes that urge (most of the time).  I want to read a book from start to finish in a day, but my will says to straighten the house, prepare meals, write lesson plans, etc.  As a child I never wanted to meet anyone new, go borrow a cup of sugar, or go anywhere unless someone close to me was going with me.  My will forced my hand to get over the fears and do what was necessary to be a working part of this world.  I am like every other human being on the face of the earth - I want my own way. However, my will advises me that since I don't even always really know what I want, but only think I do, it is better to get counseling advice through prayer, friends and family than to jump into any given decision of import.  Yes, my will is strong, stronger than I sometimes want to give it credit.
As a child I learned from watching others, my parents in particular.  I had one who reasoned everything out before making a final decision and the other who wanted to jump in feet first and see what happened.  I also had two older siblings that I watched even more diligently than I did my parents, as they were (as was I) ruled by those parents.  I watched the eldest sass and throw temper fits trying to get what was wanted.  It didn't work.  I watched the second oldest try manipulative tears to get an advantage.  Those didn't work either.  I decided at a very young age that patience, no matter how hard it was to attain, was the best resource.  If there was something I needed, or at least felt I did, I waited until at least one of my parents was in either an unusually good mood, or at least in a calm enough state to listen as I explained myself.  My system was not perfect, but I didn't get in trouble for seeking them out on any particular issue.
It wasn't that I was any better than my older siblings.  I simply had the advantage of observation where they did not. 
We need to observe during our prayer times.  The tendency is to jump in with our problems, needs, desires, etc. and walk away hoping for the best.  If we don't get what we want, we go back to God in anger and or tears.  If instead we observe patience and wait, not until God is calm and ready to listen, because He always is, but until we are calm and ready to listen to Him, we will receive the answers we need much faster. 
I admit that I have not mastered this by a long shot.  The lives we lead  in today's world scream at us to move, move, move!!!  Fast-food; computers rather than pencil, paper and books; drive through banking; ordering online rather than having to actually get in a car or even walk and so much more!
It is difficult to train ourselves to relax and wait.  But I am strong-willed or better phrased - I am free to will myself to do all that is necessary to grow in my walk with my Father.  I desire to know Him more fully.  In order to do so I need to learn to wait, speak and listen every time I go to Him.  Since I know I have a long way to grow, I will begin where I am now.  I will ask Him to continue speaking to my heart daily, helping me learn to recognize when I am not ready to listen and confess it to Him, and grow to the place where I understand and obey His voice every time.  It won't be immediate, because I am human, but if I continue to practice patience, I will begin to see results.