Beware Grandma Bears

II Timothy 1:12 For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed ; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.

The first day of school is just around the corner.  If I dwell on it I will get sick to my stomach.  This year six of my seven grandchildren will be attending public school.  While I know we have a great school district, that is not what can terrify me if I allow it.  What can is thinking about what my grandchildren are doing after school hours while parents have to continue work until four or four thirty.  Children can get into a lot of mischief and even danger in an hour or so if not supervised.  While I know my adult children do their best to keep an eye on them, I also know that it isn't always enough.  If a head is turned in the wrong direction for even a moment, a child can slip away unnoticed.  This has actually happened a couple of times.  When I received the call that they couldn't find a particular child, my heart sank and I began praying frantically for God's intervention.  I felt helpless and heartsick.  Personally, I feel that if a school position is going to keep a parent longer than normal school hours, free supervision should be provided.  The district will tell you that they provide a latchkey program, but even teachers and staff have to pay quite a bit of money to use the service, even though it is run by the district.  This should not be.  The teachers and staff are providing extra service for the district, do not get paid extra to do so, and therefore should not have to pay.  Their compensation should be free child care.  Since this is not happening, at least as yet, what can I do?  Entrust my grandchildren to God. 

If I am truly convinced, as the above verse states, that God is able to guard what I entrust to Him until my day of joining Him in heaven, then I should give them over to His care completely.  This is not to say that wisdom should not be employed.  Rather that I should hand them into His care and seek His face to see if there is anything else I personally need to be doing to ensure their safety. 

This is difficult even now after all these years of serving God and seeking Him out.  I admit that I want to go in, take the superintendents by the throat, get in their faces and tell them how neglectful, insensitive and uncaring they are being by charging those who serve under them to protect their children, when they are supposed to be in the business of freely caring for them in the first place.  However, this would accomplish one thing only - me being thrown in jail.  I would from then on be deemed a fool and no one would ever listen to a word I had to say again.  Instead, I do as God's word instructs and pray for those supers.  I ask that God would bless them with understanding and wisdom.  That He would guide their hearts to see that they are placing undo burden on those trying to do their utmost in their position and that they should be supportive of them, especially when it comes to their children's safety.

Today's study was on relinquishing our children to God.  I have had to go through that process more deeply than ever before most recently when asked if I would continue serving God if my spouse, children or grandchildren were taken away.  The grief that consumed my soul felt almost more than I could bear, but yes, most definitely yes!!  I will continue seeking my Father's face, with His help, no matter what befalls me.  However, the war may be over and victory won within me, but the skirmishes still take place and have to be squashed.  If I do not fill the voids left by the empty space left when the fretting was removed, it will fill again with the same worries, only they will become much stronger within me.  Therefore, when a skirmish arises, I must run to the Father, pour out my heart to Him, seek His word and allow Him to fill that void with the "peace that passes all understanding" that comes from a genuine relationship with Him.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

There is that verse again.  It is one I must cling to and that is hanging on one bathroom wall as a reminder.  These are the things to dwell on rather than the "what-ifs" the evil one loves to throw at us in order to consume us with fear and doubt.

Father, I pray for the schools of this nation and every other in this world.  They are supposed to be the protectors and guides of our children and grandchildren.  In some areas they go way overboard and in others they seem to be lacking.  Lord, I pray that You would place in leadership of the schools those You heart has prepared for the positions.  I ask that You would bless them with understanding along with wisdom.  Show them where they have erred and guide their hearts to do what is right for the protection of our children, but help them understand that things need to be done in a manner that does not breed fear, but instead breeds faith and a real sense of security in You rather than in the power of man, which is no real power at all.  Guide the hearts of the parents and grandparents to know what needs to be done for the safety of their families and help us all to walk in faith believing You in each and every situation that arises.  In Jesus' precious name I ask this.

In His Presence

Those of you who truly know me know that I love to use daily life experiences to learn more of God and His ways.  Therefore, it should not be a surprise that my favorite quote from today's devotions is the following: "As you pick up your little girl's tennis shoes, pray that her feet will stay on God's path.  Ordinary things around you can be visual aids and catalysts to prayer that will help you to pray without ceasing."

This gets me to thinking about other things that could be catalysts in my life.  As I do laundry I can pray that my family will be clothed in the armor of God, wearing the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, shield of faith, belt of truth, shoes of peace and lifting the shield of faith while wielding the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  That they be covered through prayer in every area of their lives.

As I make my bed in the mornings, or lay down in it at night, I can pray that their sleep may be the sleep of the righteous, peaceful and restful in the knowledge that they are loved and cared for by their heavenly Father.

As I fix a meal I can pray that they will hunger after the Lord and to know more of Him and that He fulfills that hunger.

As I sweep I can ask that the Lord reveal to them when they need to sweep the dust off their relationship with Him and spend more time with Him in prayer and study.

As I drive to the store or anywhere else I can ask that the Lord be the driving force behind their actions and words they speak.

As I shop I can ask the Lord to bless them in meeting their every physical need in this life.

And I could go on and on and on. 

We truly can pray without ceasing.  He has given us this life to learn how.  What is prayer?  Simply talking with God, have a conversation with Him.  When we arrive safely in heaven, it is hopefully the first thing we are going to want to do, so we need to know how to relate to Him. 

Father, thank You for this lesson on praying unceasingly.  I begin to see that it is really a very simple process, as is everything You ask us to do when we really seek it out.  Sometimes, okay, most of the time, You make things so simple that we cannot conceive them.  We owe You so much that we want to have to struggle and yet we are so lazy that we really don't want to have to struggle, so we make it difficult.  Help us understand that it is out of Your great love for us that You make communication with You so extremely easy.  Help us to jump at the opportunities You place in front of us and use them to our fullest capabilities.  Help us strive to show You our love for You even though we will never be able to show You as much as You have given to us.

Last night, as I lay snuggled in my husband's arms, he said, "I love you."  I replied, "I know you do by how hard you are always working to show me.  I wish I could do as much for you as you do for me."  He is currently removing all the popcorn ceilings and replacing them with beautiful ones.  Extremely hard and messy work all because I mentioned it would be nice if we could get rid of them.

Once again God speaks to my heart that this is the way it is supposed to be.  Marriage demonstrates our relationship with Jesus so vividly when we search it out.  He gave us way more than we will ever be able to give back, and just as Michael is filled with joy to give, give, give to me, Jesus is thrilled to give us more than we can ever give back to Him.

I am filled to overflowing with joy and love for you all this morning and at the same time I grieve for those who do not know Him and therefore cannot experience this joy for themselves.  I pray that the eyes of their spirit man may be opened, that they might see the beauty of His holiness and desire to be cleansed of all unrighteousness and be clothed in the Fruit of His most Holy Spirit.  Revel in His love for you!!  Celebrate the day, one with which to give back a tiny portion of what He has given us.

Daily In His Presence

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way.  Psalm 37:8

I came across this verse yesterday as I did my reading portion for reading through the Bible in a year.  I felt it went handily with this study on prayer, so I jotted it down.  Today I was instructed to read Martha's story in Luke 10:38-42.  God set me up again to be ready for today.  He is simply marvelous my darlings. (If you've never watched the BBC you won't get that joke. Sorry.)

In my early 30s I was asked to lead a women's Bible study in my home.  I did so cheerfully and had fun studying for it and presenting it. Enter pride.  Along came the day I knew the study was ending.  Some folks became involved that wanted to get into areas that bring division, and division came.  That was the final day and it grieved me.  Daily study became weekly and prayer became intermittent for me.  I lost that close fellowship I had had.  I do not blame anyone for this but myself.  It was my choice to allow grief and bitterness a door of opportunity.  This lasted, believe it or not, several years.  I still studied for children's church and Sunday school, but it lacked the depth I needed.  Then one day I cried out to God that I missed Him.  It's amazing at how much more He misses us!!  However, it was my responsibility to dig in and get close to Him again.  He hadn't moved away; I had. 

Being too busy for God is a devious lie Satan employs successfully due to our desire to be successful in not simply an area or two, but in every area we attempt.  He will whisper to us that we will get to a quiet time just as soon as.....we get the house in order, get the kids to their practice and game sessions, get dinner prepared, clean up afterwards, after our daily shower.....and the list grows as he adds more to it.  The marvelous thing about God is that He can take our sacrificial gift of time and give it back to us multiplied several times over.  That seems impossible and is, unless you are God.  Nothing is impossible with Him.  (Luke 1:37) 

One day (I cannot pin point a date for you) I got out my Bible and a devotional and started reading for the joy of it once again.  At first there was little change in me and then one day it hit me that I was gaining new insights once again and I was overjoyed!!  I cried out to God in delight and thanked Him for loving me even though I had, in a sense, turned my back on Him.  Now I delight in God's word once again and seek his face and praise daily.  I lift  up my praise to Him in thanksgiving, for there is no greater place to be than in His presence on a daily basis.  As far as being busy....I'm more busy now than I have ever been in my life and yet I am at peace with it.  I do not feel overwhelmed, nor do I worry myself over the things I do not get accomplished.  I simply pray for God to do the work through me that He desires to have done in each day's time and trust Him to "get 'er done!"  The one thing I pray I never allow to happen again is giving up my daily quiet time with Him.  I am willing to give up many things, like choir and nursery work, but not our quiet time.  When you've been there and walk away, life becomes desperately lonely, fears creep in and the things of the heart are accomplished without joy.

Father, make us a determined people - determined to know You and seek Your face.  It is then, and only then, that we will experience Your free gift of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23.  When we are away from You, these things seem a challenge.  When we are in Your presence, they come naturally.  Help us to realize our need.  Then grant us the strength and determined will to "come boldly to Your throne of grace" Hebrews 4:16,  and get to know You more fully in order to have that Fruit multiplied in our lives in order to have some to spare to share with others.

Children of Malnourishment

Sitting in my big glider crocheting, my stomach growls.  Hmmmmmmmmmmm.  I am getting hungry.  What do I want to eat?  I have some left over chicken from last night's evening meal.  I could heat that up and make a fresh salad from our garden to go with it.  But then a thought creeps stealthily through my mind.  "There are cream pops in the upstairs freezer."  The words are seductive and send my taste buds reeling in desire.  My heart speaks directly and a bit firmer than before that the chicken and salad are a much healthier choice and will stick with me longer.  The sensual voice returns and lulls me, trying desperately to draw me into its trance.  "The orange flavor mixed with vanilla ice cream is one of your favorites.  It wouldn't hurt this one time to allow yourself a little eating pleasure."  I get up and head for the freezer, while thoughts of how much I deserve the ice cream for all my hard work swirl around in my head.  But then I remember something.  I have a choice.  I can eat the ice cream and regret 20 minutes later when my stomach begins to growl again from being under nourished, or I can simply eat the chicken and salad, which is more preparation, but will stick with me until dinner time.  I eat the chicken......this time.  All too many other times I listen to the seductive voice.True Nourishment
Rise during the night and cry out. Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord. Lift up your hands to him in prayer, pleading for your children, for in every street they are faint with hunger.  Lamentations 2:19

When I read this verse yesterday morning, I immediately thought of all the children in the world being fed the food of "I want" rather than "I need."  I want to play football, or soccer, or basketball, etc. and even thought the games are are Sundays during church, it only lasts for a season.........and then I want to take dance lessons, cheerleading, join a choir, etc. and, yes, they meet on Sundays as well, but it too only lasts a season. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these activities they are great for the body.  They stretch it, work it and build solid muscle throughout it, but they do little to nourish the soul.For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. I Timothy 4:8

I believe God wants us to keep our bodies as healthy as is possible in this day and age, but He is more concerned with our spiritual health. 

It is not only physical, musical or instrumental abilities that can seduce us away from spiritual growth, there is also intellect.  Schools, in order to try and win the educational battle with other nations, pile on homework so deep that children no longer have time to play, let alone spend time with their Creator.

Parents have an honest dilemma.  The world is crying out not only to pull their family into the busy, busy world of activity, but of academia, financial achievement, keeping up with neighbors and peers so their children do not get mistreated, but above all, don't discipline for fear someone will misconstrue and infer that you are an abusive parent.  The end result is that in every street children are faint with hunger....hunger for their Savior, and they don't even realize that they are desperately trying to fill the void with the call of the world.

Father, in this world today we are confused as parents and grandparents.  Things have gotten so very out of hand that we no longer truly know what is best for our children.  We have moments of clarity, but they are brief as the world grows louder and more creative in its approach.  Lord, I pray that You would open the spiritual eyes and hearts of today's Christian parents to see and hear when they are making worldly choices for their children and family.   May their hearts break with the knowledge so that they are drawn back to the true nourishment of spending precious time with their children and spouses, nourishing each other in the things of God and, in so doing,  teach their children to honor You first and foremost in every choice they make, so that they may truly succeed in life.  Help them realize that true success comes from knowing You to the fullest measure.  It not only satisfies the hunger of our hearts, but the malnourishment of our minds and bodies.  Knowing You and continuing to strive to know You better teaches us the answer to every situation that arises in our lives, which blesses all those our lives touch. 

Prayer of the Heart

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  I Peter 5:7
Most people who know my momma do not realize that she comes across to her children as a worrier.  She seems to feel that if you don't worry, you don't care.  However, I cannot see into her mind or heart to know if she truly carries the worry with her or not.  That being the case, I will not say that she is as such.  However, because we grew up believing her to be and took her actions to mean that you must not care if you do not worry, it has been very difficult for me to hurdle this obstacle in my life. 
For the first several years of my marriage I worked to make it the best I knew how.  The problem was, I only had my vision of what a really terrific marriage was.  I envisioned myself in beautiful dresses, my hair laying perfectly and my husband swooning over me.  Now, before you start giggling too profusely, remember that I was only 18, though close to 19, when I married.  Suffice it to say, my life was NOT what I envisioned.  Instead, I found myself knee deep in laundry, dust, and bills to pay.  When almost two years had passed, our first child was born.  Arguments ensued because I couldn't seem to keep from calling my mom for advice, and that rang up (pardon the pun) quite the telephone bill.  Now I was still knee deep in those other things, but had added diapers, spit up, crying (mine mostly) and higher bills.  I began to feel like my world was crumbling at times.  Rather than pour out my concerns to God and leave them with Him, I would hole up in a pity party and cry out to God to take me home with Him.  Talk about selfish!!  I reacted this way for the next several years whenever things didn't go my way.  I worried and fretted and pitied myself, which, believe it or not, did NOT make things better!! 
One day, I do not know when, I decided it was time to find out what God had to say about marriage and child rearing.  This wasn't a difficult decision, because I love to read and study.  Why I hadn't done so sooner is beyond me.  However, I started reading Dr. Dobson's books on child rearing as well as Zig Ziglar's "Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World," and Dr. Lehman's books and compared them to Scripture.  I began to spend more time enjoying my children and our family became much happier.
I then started digging in to marriage.  I first read "Men are From Mars, Women From Venus."  What an eye opener!  I learned to speak "man-speak" and it made a world of difference in my understanding of what my husband was trying to tell me.  He felt the need to fix every problem I presented, when all I needed was to talk the problem out.  I began phrasing things differently and ending with the solution I had thought of and then asked his opinion.  He no longer felt I was heaping my problems on him, so felt free to tweak my solutions rather than come up with them himself.  Wow!  I began to discover that God knows a thing or two about marriage as well as rearing children!
I also read "The Five Love Languages."  I went in to it with the idea of discovering my husband's love language.  Mine was easy - touch.  I knew for a fact that it was not his, because he didn't even want to hold hands.  I wanted to know what I needed to do to get him to understand how very much I loved him, because he just didn't seem to get it.  He was jealous and insecure it seemed to me.  When I discovered his love language was service, I about jumped out of my chair in excitement!  It hit me how extreme his love for me really was!!  He is always doing things for me.  If I simply mention something would be nice, he strives to bring it about.  Did I ever begin to feel special!!  I started seeking ways to serve him.  If he was working on the car, I asked what I could do.  If he was painting, I got out a brush and asked where to start.  The amazing thing was, he started holding my hand, putting his arm around me, hugging me close and even giving me a quick kiss in public and I never had to say a word about my love language being touch!!
I write all this to simply say, God knows what he's talking about, is never wrong and has all the answers to every situation.  However, we must seek Him out on it.  This is where prayer comes in.  I am beginning to learn how vital prayer without wavering truly is.  When we pray, we must really want an answer.  In other words, we cannot ask for God's help and then try to fix things on our own.  We must refuse to worry and trust Him with the results.  When we do this, the answers He gives will astound us.  I know this to be true, because he has always been faithful to me, even when I have been disloyal to Him.
Father, You have every solution to every problem that ever existed.  You would think we would know that by now, but we are still rebellious in so very many ways. Forgive us and continue to teach us to pray.  You have shown us how, but we are loathe to follow through.  We don't even understand why we find it so difficult to give You an ounce of our time when You have so willingly given us all of Yours.  Grant us wisdom and understanding that we might come to You boldly, seeking Your answers rather than our own.  May we exalt You as we stand amazed in Your presence.

Peace, Be Still....

What today is the most important thing God would have me do with my life?  I am waiting to know.  Should I be still and wait?  Inwardly, yes, but outwardly I will continue doing my every day chores.  As I wait, I pray that my heart may be still within me listening, always listening, for that still small voice that would guide me in the direction I should take next.  He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:10
I am getting ready to begin a new journey in prayer.  During this time I want to be as still in my heart as is possible in this loud, raucous world we live in.  This means my mouth will be more silent than usual and my thoughts will be focused on praising Him - at least this is my hope.  I am going to fast the words of my mouth, so to speak.  This does not mean I won't speak at all, it simply means I will do my best to speak when necessary only.  Women have a tendency to want to talk much and often.  It is difficult for us to learn to quiet our thoughts and mouths, so I begin deeper training in doing so.
There is much contention in the Church (and I mean this as the entire body of Christ) in this era.  This should not be so.  It has always been difficult for me to have to stand by and watch people in disagreement.  My heart cries out to each individual to admit they could possibly be wrong, agree to disagree and get back to work.  That is the mercy motivation within me.  I realize that others are motivated differently than I, so I have been learning (the hard way) to keep my mouth shut.  On occasion I have forgotten the importance of keeping it closed and have caused further disturbance.  Today, I have determined to stay out of other people's disagreements (except through prayer for them)  and focus on God's desire for my contribution in serving Him.  The hardest part in doing so is knowing that odds are in favor of others being drawn into these debates who have no business being there.  I must be obedient to Christ though and allow Him to take charge of these battles.  The most extraordinary thing is, if someone reads this and thinks I am writing about them, they will automatically want to discuss it with me.  So I want to make certain to inform anyone reading this that I am not talking about any particular disagreement, but Christ's body as a whole not being in unity.  Therefore, as I fast my words, quiet my heart and listen for His voice, I will be praying for God to open the minds and hearts of his people to see that division within causes repulsion without.  May we all learn to do as God's word teaches, beginning with me:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8 

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.  Romans 14:19
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.  But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.  II Timothy 2:22-23

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Wanna Wrestle?

Genesis 32:22-32

Jacob wrestled with God until he was crippled and blessed. 

This passage of Scripture has always made me walk away shaking my head in wonder.  My biggest question has always been, "Why did God wrestle with him in the first place?"  He didn't have to.  He proved that by touching Jacob's leg in such a way that it was literally driven out of socket the rest of his life, making him walk with a limp.  He could have simply said, "Who do you think you are?  You are a mere human which I created.  Do you really think you can win this battle?"  However, if He had, Jacob would not only have gone away defeated, but would have lost all hope left within himself.

Jacob had been reminding God of how He had promised to make a great nation out of his family line.  Now (at least in his imagination) his brother Esau was on his way to kill him and take all he had.  Why?  Well....it's basically what Jacob had done to Esau years before when he tricked their father Isaac into giving himself Esau's rightful blessing.  The human response to injustice is usually to perform retribution.  It is not what God wants of us, but it is human nature.  Jacob refused to let go of God's promise, even in the face of possible death.  He clung to God in a choking grip.  He wanted that blessing no matter the cost.  He received it, with a price.  He became handicapped; mildly, granted, but handicapped all the same.  God would never have gone back on His promise to Jacob, but Jacob evidently needed convincing.  So God wrestled with him.  Sounds funny to us, but God is smarter than we are and knows exactly what it takes to get us where He wants us to be.

My next question then becomes, "What do I want badly enough to cling to God and His promises no matter what the cost in my personal life?" 

Knowing that my greatest enemy besides Satan himself is myself, I recognize that in many ways I am weak.  Yesterday in Sunday School we were discussing how knowing Jesus has changed our lives.  My oldest grandson asked how it had changed mine.  I told him that before I accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord, I walked in fear.  He asked what kind of fears I had.  I explained that I was afraid to walk down the street for fear I'd be kidnapped or attacked by an animal; afraid to go to sleep because I might not wake up; afraid to ask the neighbor to borrow a cup of sugar because the husband might answer the door and call me "babydoll." I don't know why, but that absolutely terrified me.  I no longer have those fears.  I then asked, "What's the worst that could happen to me?"  They answered, "Murder."  I then said, "I'd just end up in heaven."  Then my oldest grandson said, "Capture and torture and not dying."  I told him that , yes, that was probably the worst, but what do I know that anyone would need to get from me that I wouldn't freely tell them?  God will always give us the strength to face what we must.  That ended the conversation and we went on to finish our projects.  However, I admit that many times in my life I have cried out to God that if I were ever tortured for my faith, He would give me the strength and grace to endure to the end.  

The one thing I want more than anything else in this life is to see my children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren walking with the Lord with everything they possess.  I wrestle with God on this on occasion.  What is the cost?  I must set the example.  Am I willing?  Will I hang on, clinging tightly when the battle gets tough or will I let go and blame God, claiming it must not be His will?  I pray it may never be so!!

Lord, grant me the inner strength to keep clinging to You and Your promises all throughout my life so that I may be a testimony to my children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren of the wealth hidden in Your word through faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.  May Your Spirit grant me wisdom and knowledge daily as I strive to do my best in serving You.  Keep me from giving in to weariness of soul in order to gain the prize at the end of life's battle as I enter eternity with You.  May my life be a beacon drawing every family member into Your kingdom regardless of what I must personally endure, that they might find refuge in You.