Prayer of the Heart

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  I Peter 5:7
Most people who know my momma do not realize that she comes across to her children as a worrier.  She seems to feel that if you don't worry, you don't care.  However, I cannot see into her mind or heart to know if she truly carries the worry with her or not.  That being the case, I will not say that she is as such.  However, because we grew up believing her to be and took her actions to mean that you must not care if you do not worry, it has been very difficult for me to hurdle this obstacle in my life. 
For the first several years of my marriage I worked to make it the best I knew how.  The problem was, I only had my vision of what a really terrific marriage was.  I envisioned myself in beautiful dresses, my hair laying perfectly and my husband swooning over me.  Now, before you start giggling too profusely, remember that I was only 18, though close to 19, when I married.  Suffice it to say, my life was NOT what I envisioned.  Instead, I found myself knee deep in laundry, dust, and bills to pay.  When almost two years had passed, our first child was born.  Arguments ensued because I couldn't seem to keep from calling my mom for advice, and that rang up (pardon the pun) quite the telephone bill.  Now I was still knee deep in those other things, but had added diapers, spit up, crying (mine mostly) and higher bills.  I began to feel like my world was crumbling at times.  Rather than pour out my concerns to God and leave them with Him, I would hole up in a pity party and cry out to God to take me home with Him.  Talk about selfish!!  I reacted this way for the next several years whenever things didn't go my way.  I worried and fretted and pitied myself, which, believe it or not, did NOT make things better!! 
One day, I do not know when, I decided it was time to find out what God had to say about marriage and child rearing.  This wasn't a difficult decision, because I love to read and study.  Why I hadn't done so sooner is beyond me.  However, I started reading Dr. Dobson's books on child rearing as well as Zig Ziglar's "Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World," and Dr. Lehman's books and compared them to Scripture.  I began to spend more time enjoying my children and our family became much happier.
I then started digging in to marriage.  I first read "Men are From Mars, Women From Venus."  What an eye opener!  I learned to speak "man-speak" and it made a world of difference in my understanding of what my husband was trying to tell me.  He felt the need to fix every problem I presented, when all I needed was to talk the problem out.  I began phrasing things differently and ending with the solution I had thought of and then asked his opinion.  He no longer felt I was heaping my problems on him, so felt free to tweak my solutions rather than come up with them himself.  Wow!  I began to discover that God knows a thing or two about marriage as well as rearing children!
I also read "The Five Love Languages."  I went in to it with the idea of discovering my husband's love language.  Mine was easy - touch.  I knew for a fact that it was not his, because he didn't even want to hold hands.  I wanted to know what I needed to do to get him to understand how very much I loved him, because he just didn't seem to get it.  He was jealous and insecure it seemed to me.  When I discovered his love language was service, I about jumped out of my chair in excitement!  It hit me how extreme his love for me really was!!  He is always doing things for me.  If I simply mention something would be nice, he strives to bring it about.  Did I ever begin to feel special!!  I started seeking ways to serve him.  If he was working on the car, I asked what I could do.  If he was painting, I got out a brush and asked where to start.  The amazing thing was, he started holding my hand, putting his arm around me, hugging me close and even giving me a quick kiss in public and I never had to say a word about my love language being touch!!
I write all this to simply say, God knows what he's talking about, is never wrong and has all the answers to every situation.  However, we must seek Him out on it.  This is where prayer comes in.  I am beginning to learn how vital prayer without wavering truly is.  When we pray, we must really want an answer.  In other words, we cannot ask for God's help and then try to fix things on our own.  We must refuse to worry and trust Him with the results.  When we do this, the answers He gives will astound us.  I know this to be true, because he has always been faithful to me, even when I have been disloyal to Him.
Father, You have every solution to every problem that ever existed.  You would think we would know that by now, but we are still rebellious in so very many ways. Forgive us and continue to teach us to pray.  You have shown us how, but we are loathe to follow through.  We don't even understand why we find it so difficult to give You an ounce of our time when You have so willingly given us all of Yours.  Grant us wisdom and understanding that we might come to You boldly, seeking Your answers rather than our own.  May we exalt You as we stand amazed in Your presence.