Delightful Discipline

My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof, for whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.  Proverbs 3:11-12 (NASB)

Studying the love of Father God through discipline this morning brought something to my attention.  Back in the olden days when I was but a small child, most mothers were with their children virtually all day every day.  Because of this, they tended to discipline in frustration or delay it - "Just wait until your dad gets home!"  As I looked back it hit me that my mom's frustration did nothing to deter me from misbehavior.  A good spanking from her might, not out of respect, but out of fear of getting another.  These were rare, however; perhaps too rare? 

Then I thought about my dad.  He came home every evening at 6:00, expected dinner on the table, the house relatively neat and us five children to behave.  I think my mom must have forgiven us throughout the days, because I only remember a couple of times when she actually told Daddy we needed his discipline.  We would line up for our three swats and it would be over, unless we chose to stand in the corner.  This lasted at least a half hour, so why I chose it often is beyond me.  My oldest sister always chose spanking and then would taunt my sister two years older than I and myself because we were still stuck.  We would get so bored we would draw spit (that's right, I wrote spit) pictures on the walls.  If Momma had known, we'd have been in trouble all over again.  If we were blessed enough to be able to see each other, we would converse through our made up sign language and giggle, sometimes causing added time.  Don't I sound like the greatest little blessing?  Thinking back and remembering can be quite entertaining.  Was there any discipline that actually worked with these strong-willed, too smart for their own good little irritants? 

I have written in the past about how Daddy would at times go to spank me and start crying instead.  It amazes me that those are the times that affected me most.  When I looked into Daddy's eyes and saw those tears and heard the sobs that came from him, I really understood how difficult it was for him to discipline his children.  He loved us enough to want what was best and so followed through (most of the time) but it truly made his heart ache to have to do so.  Those are the times I never wanted to do anything to hurt my daddy again.  I remember one time when I was a teenager that I broke curfew.  I was grounded for two weeks.  Daddy made me complete one and then said he thought I'd learned my lesson, so gave me back a week.  I remember thinking, "I'm not so sure I did, Daddy."  If I remember correctly, I even told him I was willing to take the second week, but he told me no.  That made me stop and think as well.  I don't think I ever deliberately broke curfew again.

God really does have all the answers, even when it comes to disciplining our children.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.   Ephesians 6:4 (NLT)

When I was disciplined out of anger or frustration I wasn't really fazed.  However, when I was disciplined simply because I was desperately loved, these times touched, taught and redeemed me out of those particular situations.  This is exactly what God wants for us.  It is why He took the death penalty for us.  He wants us to live!!  However, He wants more for us than simple survival.  He wants us to thrive!!  So He continues to discipline us, but in love.  The angry, frustrated punishment was already given to Jesus for us.  Now the discipline comes strictly from concern for our welfare out of the greatest love possible - God's.  Since He lives in us, let us draw from the resource of His Holy Spirit in us to discipline from the instruction that comes from Him. 

Father, You have not only told us in Your word how to discipline in love, but You have demonstrated it over and over again in our lives, first through sending Jesus, and then in demonstrating patience with us when we make the same mistakes over and over and over again.  Teach us Your ways so our children may grow to understand Your love for them through our actions toward them.  Help us teach them that we delight in them even though they do err.  We are here to show them right from wrong and the joy that comes from living in righteousness through the power of Your Spirit through inviting Jesus to be Lord of our lives.  Thank You for Your delight in me.  I admit that sometimes Your delight is painful, but it always brings great joy and makes me want to delight You even more.