Friend of the Friendless

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  Genesis 50:20 (NIV)

I did not attend kindergarten.  It wasn't necessary back then as it was a lot like preschool is now.  When I entered first grade at barely six years old, I was extremely scared.  It wasn't fear of learning; I loved to do so and volunteered to be the student when my older sisters wanted to play school.  It was a feeling of being lost in a crowd, with no one as a friend.  I didn't know how to make friends, so remained friendless until a girl in my class named Kathy took pity on me.  We became "best friends" until she moved away halfway through the year.  I remember wondering why it had to be my only friend that moved.  I remained what I considered friendless until third grade.  
Third grade was a wonderful year for me.  Not only did I have a new "best friend," but I fell in love with my teacher, Mrs. Ellis.  She was the first teacher that made me feel loved.  It was she who introduced me to the fact that a teacher can be a wonderful example to students and help them grow in a positive manner.  Because of this, I fell in love with the idea of becoming a teacher.
At sixteen I accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord and learned to ask Him what He wanted of me.  I continued to feel the tug toward teaching.  I told the church I attended that I felt God's call to teach.  They placed me in the two to three year old department.  I fell even more in love with teaching, and now it wasn't just the idea of it I loved.
At seventeen I met my future husband.  God made it quite plain that this was the man, even though only eighteen, that I was to marry.  We became engaged, so I told him my plans to become a school teacher.  His reply shocked and annoyed me.  He said that his wife was going to be a "stay at home" mom and rear the children.  I was a little more that ticked at him for this.  I can hear the thoughts of anyone who should read this thinking how selfish and hardhearted he was being, but I was being just as selfish by asking God to make things go my way.
After a semester of college and praying that God would either change this young man's mind or change His own toward our marriage, I came to understand that I was not supposed to become an elementary school teacher, but a Sunday school teacher.  I dropped out of school and started preparing for marriage as I continued to teach children God's word.  
It is amazing how God works His plans out in our lives.  Yes, we were both selfish, but God took even the sin of selfishness and used it to bring about His purposes.  My future husband was no doubt trying to be controlling, but it was actually God controlling him in this decision.  If I had become an elementary school teacher, I would not have the time to study and teach God's word in the manner He desired of me.  Because I chose not to rebel against marriage due to my determined will, I would have strengthened that rebellion, not to mention the fact that I would have missed out on having a more loving, generous and helpful husband than I could ever have envisioned for myself. 
Father, so many times we become distraught when things don't go the way we think they should.  We "want what we want" and we want everyone else, including You, to want it for us too.  As I grow older, I begin to see just how ridiculous we humans can be.  We are made in Your image and possess Your Spirit if we have accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord, yet we still try to cling to our own personal desires as if they were what really matters in life.  On those rare occasions where we give our ideas and dreams to You, we discover that You have even better plans than we, yet we turn around and go right back to the grovelling pit, trying to persuade You to see our way the next time something comes up.  Continue to have patience with us Lord.  Discipline us through whatever means necessary to bring us to the place of complete surrender to Your will so that we can walk in peace and security, knowing all is and will continue to be well as long as we trust in You.