Father and Mother

And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:30 (NLT)

If I hurt someone I might notice immediately simply by the expression on their face; the look in their eyes.  This reflects back to me how I have made them feel and brings me heartache so that I can apologize and, if allowed, explain what I really meant.  If the person is determined to hide
 the hurt from me, it makes it more difficult.  I may have to be made aware that my words or actions were taken in an offensive manner, in which case I can go once again and apologize.  If I am never told how can I possibly know I have done harm...unless it was deliberate. 
I once read that saying we repent (are sorry) about our actions or words does not hold water if we refuse to recognize it as an offense against God.  This can be extremely difficult, since we cannot physically see Him.  It is much easier to recognize offenses against humans, as we can see them face to face.  What we fail to remember is that man was and is "created in God's image" (Genesis 1:27) in part for this very purpose.  When we realize we have sinned against a fellow human, we can look into their eyes and see the reflection of the hurt we have inflicted on God and be assured that He is hurting more deeply than the individual, as He recognizes that we are acting like slaves to sin while He has paid the price to set us free.  He feels not only the hurting of the individual, but grieves over our disobedience, and thus lack of love, toward Him in this area.

I remember the sad look on my daddy's face whenever I did something that caused him to have to discipline me. That look was worse than the punishment. I remember a few times when he actually cried and let me “off the hook,” unwilling to inflict pain of any kind upon me. It is those times that stick with me the most – seeing the tears and anguish on his face, the love in his eyes and hearing the words, “I just can't. Go on. Get out of here,” and then a smile with tears to let me know he forgave me. Those are the times I look back on with tears in my own eyes and wonder how in the world I could have allowed myself to hurt him so badly. My daddy wasn't perfect. There were times he lashed out in anger and fear. I remember one time when I had gotten out of his range of view and he spanked me while still outside – three swats with his bare hand. You may think that was nothing, but I would rather have been spanked with anything else. My daddy had huge and VERY strong hands that were only used to spank me that one time. Otherwise they were used to tickle, cuddle and make me feel safe and they did their job quite well. He reacted in fear that one time, grieved over it and never did it again. I think, perhaps, he saw the look of shock and confusion on my face (I didn't know what I had done wrong) and it truly upset him. He later explained his fear. (Our sin natures mean that, generally, “Be yourself” is not good advice.)

I admit it – my daddy coddled, loved on and cherished me. When I was 3 or 4 I told him I was going to marry him one day. He asked what we would do with Momma. I told him we could throw her in the trash can. (I was a bit angry at the time.  She had yelled at me, which is something I believed was very unjust at the time.) He chuckled and told me that wouldn't be a very nice thing to do to our momma. He went on to say how much she loved and did for us all. I went away feeling quite content and knowing I was loved by both my parents. It is because of my daddy that it was easier for me to accept God as a loving, caring and giving Father. He did what a father is supposed to do – showed me God's love.

A mother's love reveals God's healing touch through hugs and kisses when we fall down or get our feelings hurt, especially by a sibling.  She is our defender and intercessor when our dad is seeking truth regarding particular circumstances.  She teaches us the things we need in order to survive in a safe environment – cooking, cleaning, self-discipline, serving others, etc. Dad's teach us to be strong in whatever the circumstances. When working – always do your best and earn other people's respect. Discipline those you love so that they become the people God designed them to be, to enjoy life and and refrain from worry, as he will always be there when you need him.

Daddy is the one that should instill fear of disobedience – not because we are afraid of him, but because we fear hurting and disappointing him. Mommy is the one we run to when that fear of daddy surfaces.

God is both mother and father to us. If our parents did their jobs correctly (praise God, mine did) we will learn that, though we fear disappointing God and bringing Him to the place of having to discipline us, we can always run into His loving arms and be assured that everything will be all right, because he loves us so very much!! We will learn from our mistakes, and though we may repeat them, we will grieve over the fact.

If, when we sin, we would stop and remember the look on the face of loved ones we have hurt and remember that Father God would be grieved even more so would make it all the more difficult to commit the same sin over again.  

Father, so many times I have longed to see Your face, but when I sin, I am tempted to hide from it.  I cannot bear the look of anguish that I see reflected in the eyes of those, including myself, that I sin against and knowing that You grieve all the more makes me so very ashamed.  Knowing that You are there with arms wide open, waiting for me to run into them and bury my face in Your chest makes it bearable.  Thank You for being both Mother and Father, intercessor and defender, the One who disciplines in love and bearer of my sins.  There is no one I would rather run to, as there is no one who will grant me justice through the blood and sacrifice of Jesus, but You.