Forever Family

I remember the excitement of being a new wife.  For the first few weeks it was totally awesome.  Then the first phone bill came.  I had rung up quite a bill for back then by calling my mom long distance.  My husband became a different man at that point.  Suddenly he was upset and telling me how I had to control myself.  He knew I missed my parents, but I was his wife now and needed to concentrate on that rather than on being their daughter.  Woe!  I was angry and hurt.  I cried (but not in front of him) and told God how unfair it was. 
There were other times similar to this that happened over that first year and then, after not quite two years of marriage, our daughter was born.  Somehow, I went from being this well organized neat freak to a person who just couldn't keep up.  I was told I just needed to be more organized.  Less than 2 years later our first son was born.  I became worse and I was told that I really needed to get more organized.  Less than 2 years after that our second son was born and I was asked, "How in the world do you get anything done around here?!"  All comments from my husband.  The last one made me smile outwardly and laugh inwardly.
There were several things that helped me tremendously in balancing being a wife and mother.  One thing I learned that helped tremendously with being a wife was learning that my husband should come first after God in my life.  My children were only a hair's breadth below him, but I needed to remember that without him, I wouldn't have children in the first place.  So, as difficult as it was, I started to listen to what he needed from me and doing it, even if it meant I had to put off having that picnic lunch with the kids for an hour or possibly until the next day.  I always explained why, and then hugged them a bunch. Then I would read over Proverbs 31 as a refresher that I was doing the right thing.  I printed it out by hand and posted it on our refrigerator as a daily reminder.

As for being the best mom I could be, I read Zig Ziglar's Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, James Dobson's books about child rearing and scriptures about how children are a blessing from the Lord (so I didn't forget when I became totally frustrated.)

Two poems were my mainstay:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow

For children grow up we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs, Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

And the ever famous "Children Learn What They Live."

I made many mistakes as a wife and mother, but praise be to God, He looked at my heart and saw that its desire was to be the best I could be, so He looked beyond those mistakes and made our family an eternal one.  I have three children here on earth and they are all marvelous in their own way.  They are all three strong willed, determined young people and I pray they continue growing in the Lord, using that determination to serve Him to the fullest of their capabilities.  He gave me three wonderful children-in-law and 7 grandchildren so far.  But before this, He gave me a man to love me unconditionally, even when I wrecked the car, broke the side view mirror, tore up the kitchen wall, and so many other things.  He's been patient and willing to teach me anything I want to know.

He warms me when having a freezing fit, cares for me when I am ill, does possibly more housework than I do and continues supporting me in each endeavor, even though sometimes he has to caution me that I may be making a mistake and need to take time to pray first.  What more could I ask for?  Only one thing - a closer walk with Jesus every day!!

If I could, I would make it a per-requisite for all couples to read together the following books: For Women Only, For Men Only, The Five Love Languages, Men are from Mars and Women from Venus.  Before they have children I would have them read the books mentioned above and add Five Love Languages of Children.  I know that is a lot of reading, but in the world we live in, we have forgotten that each family member has an individual role.  We try to make each family member behave as we do.  We are each unique and we need to instead learn to cultivate the God given gifts within each of us and utilize them in a manner that makes us a strong family indeed.

Lord, in this hustle bustle world we live in, it seems things would run a lot  more smoothly if everyone simply thought as we do.  We tend to forget that it is individualistic thinking that brings about medicinal cures, innovative electronic devices, new means of transportation and so much more.  Help us learn to appreciate who it is You have created us to be as well as who You have created our family members to be.  Help us to play off each other in a manner that is pleasing to You and helps us develop more Christ-like qualities in our family as a whole.  May we bring You great joy in the sacrifices we make in order to bring this about.