Parent Friends

When my children were little, I wondered if I would ever get a full night of sleep again.  When they reached those preteen years, I wondered if they would ever learn to pick up after themselves.  When they reached teen years, I wondered if I would live to see 50 or have a heart attack instead.  When they reached adulthood, we became friends.  However, I have learned over the past 14  years or so that even after they marry and begin having children of their own, there are times you still have to step in a be a parent.  The day may come when they feel they must act almost as a parent to me, so hopefully I have trained them well and will continue doing so. 
There are times now when I remember their childhood and wonder where the time went.  Wasn't it just yesterday that I held my eldest in my arms, marveling at God's goodness and love?  No, that was over 34 years ago.  Wasn't it just last week my oldest son who was 2 years old broke his brand new train so he could see how it worked?  Didn't my baby just carve his name in my kitchen chairs last month?  Didn't our daughter just throw away her kindergarten papers because she had missed 1 problem the other day?  No. All these things happened many years ago, yet I can almost reach out and touch them, they are so near.  I sit here crying thinking about how frustrated I became with them.  I had to go in my bedroom and pray so that I wouldn't say or do something I'd regret later.  Why did those things matter so much?  They have nothing to do with eternity except in how I handled them.  I learned from my momma that things are just things.  When they are gone, they are gone.  People are eternal. 
Now I am a grandma and I absolutely love it!!  All the mistakes I learned as a parent help me help my children in rearing their children, which is how I believe God intended things to be.  That's why we are called grandparents.  We should have learned enough to make our parenting skills grand by now and hopefully one day they will be greatly grand.
Lord, thank You for the opportunity of being a parent.  May You use the lessons You taught me to benefit others in their child rearing experiences.  Make me into a truly grand parent and one day make me great for Your glory and honor.  May many rise up and call Your women children blessed because we seek to honor You in becoming the woman You describe in Proverbs 31. 

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
¹³ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
¹⁵ She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
¹⁶ She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
¹⁷ She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
¹⁸ She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
¹⁹ She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
²⁰ She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
²² She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Let's Be Real

When I think back on my youth, I remember thinking how phony girls were in general (myself included at times).  I even spoke this to my guy friends.  Yes, I was one of those who had more guy than girl friends.  I was considered stuck up, boring, and a little on the scary side by the female congregation.  They assumed that I was a narc (someone who tells adults everything wrong everyone else is doing), which I most certainly was not, but the stories flew and I was feared. I admit, I let them think this as it kept me from having to say "no, thank you," when invited to unchaperoned parties, which were prevalent in my youth.  I simply wasn't invited.  So, I cannot sympathize with the niceties women feel they must dish out in conversation when they meet other women.  However, I can sympathize with them when it comes to their reasons for doing so - distrust.  Women tend to be generous with compliments when they first meet due to the fact that they are feeling each other out.  I get that.  I just do things a little differently.  I tend to be quiet and watch how they relate to others.  As soon as I discover they are real people, I will share almost anything they want to know about me with them.  If they are pretenders, then I am cautious.  Why? Because pretenders tend to distort truths to make themselves seem a little more important to others.  The problem is that for those who don't really know the one being talked about, they hurt reputations and then they make themselves look foolish to those who truly do know the other person.  In being cautious, I not only protect the reputation of my household, but keep them from making a big mistake in revealing their dishonesty and insecurities to the world. 
I love the story of Ruth in Scripture for the fact that she and Naomi were so very real.  They did not try to hide the fact that they needed help.  Ruth went boldly out to reap grain.  Reaping was for true widows and orphans who had no one to provide for them.  Ruth was also a hard worker, which I am sure she learned at least partly from Naomi as she had lived with her for so long.  She gleaned all day, only taking short rests for water and food.  Ruth was generous.  She made certain she had more than enough to share with Naomi.  They truly loved each other, which is seen in Naomi telling Ruth she would be remiss if she did not help provide for her by telling her how to proceed with Boaz.  They didn't try to hide the fact that Ruth needed a husband either.  So honest and forthright.  I love it!!!
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such there is no law.   Galatians 22-23

Love comes first and all the rest follow closely.  Ruth and Naomi loved each other and the joy, peace, etc. came naturally between them. 

Lord, let Your love flow through me at all times, in every situation, even when the feeling of needing to scream tries to overtake me.  Help me remember that if I really love You, I will keep Your commandments (John 14:15) which are to "love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength; and to love my neighbor (which You show us through the Good Samaritan is every person) as myself." (Luke 10:27)  Help me also remember that the rest of the fruit of Your Spirit will flow through me much easier when I am walking in love.  Love never fails - I Corinthians 13:8.

Crack Sealant

Today I woke with the anticipation of beginning a new study.  I always start with an "Open Windows" daily devotion.  The title of today's is "Friendship Isn't Futile."  I chuckled, because I knew in my heart that God was encouraging me that I was doing the right study at the right moment in time.  The new study is entitled Between Friends...A Woman's Look At Mentoring God's Way.  Just how awesome is that?!

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.  Ecclesiastes 4:9

Friend - one attached to another by affection or esteem

There are several modern day definitions for friend, but I liked this one best. 

The Hebrew word for friend is Çôwdh - 'secret intimate friendship'

The Greek is Philos love, or brotherly/friendship love and describes the love between two people who have common interests and experiences, or a fondness for. Philos steadily grows, like a building being constructed stone by stone.  For this reason, when close friends are separated for a while and reunited, they will often say “it is like we picked up exactly where we left off.”

We all need friends.  Personally, I enjoy being alone quite often, as I get a lot accomplished during those times.  However, I can also become defeated and overwhelmed if I don't take out some time for friendship.

I love the quote from Ruth: "Where you go, I will go.  Where you lodge, I will lodge.  Your people will be my people and your God, my God."  However, some would feel Ruth was more of a parasite than a friend at this point. She could have easily returned to Moab and remarried and allowed Naomi the freedom to do as she pleased.  Yet her love for Naomi was so great, she could not leave her in her loneliness.  She knew that feeling as she was experiencing it for herself in the loss of her husband.  Together they could survive.  Alone, they just might not make it and as I think about Naomi's words to her welcoming friends when she returned home to Bethlehem, I doubt she would have made it without Ruth.

"Call me 'Mara" - bitter - for the Lord has dealt very bitterly toward me...."  Ruth 1:20

When a rock flies up and hits a windshield, a small hole forms.  If it is repaired immediately, it will go no further.  If it is left alone, the tiny cracks that are virtually invisible to the naked eye will start to spread and destroy the windshield.  It will have to be replaced.  Ruth knew she could not fill the hole of no husband or sons, but she could be a friend and fill in the small cracks that threatened to destroy Naomi's life.  That's what true friend's do. 

So, Lord, make me into a crack sealer for those who feel they are ready to split open.  Grant wisdom and insight into their needs.

And Lord, when I feel ready to shatter, provide a sealant for me.

A Zealous Life

There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness from then on and forevermore.  The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this.  Isaiah 9:7

The Hebrew word for zeal is qin' ah and means "ardour, jealousy - to excite to jealous anger."

After reading about this, I sat and thought, "What am I truly zealous about?"  The first thing that popped up was my marriage. 

A quick and simple example of this: A couple of years ago I was on Facebook.  I had been for quite some time.  I had a long list of friends and was having fun interacting with them.  The problem?  I was spending WAY too much time with it.  My husband became worried and jealous - worried that my picture was now online and jealous that I was spending what seemed to be more time online than with him.  As I pondered this, it hit me at that moment that my marriage was ever so much more important to me than Facebook, so I deleted my account.  I didn't even take the time to notify friends and family.  I hit delete and then permanent delete, which erases everything.  Some people thought my husband was being overly protective of me and I was being overly zealous for our relationship, but years ago I sat down with God and determined that I would never let anything of this world cause division in our marriage. Was it worth it?  You bet it was!  We are even closer than before, if you can imagine that possibility, but I assure you it exists.

Once again God has brought me back to my relationship with Him being a type of marriage.  Is my zeal for our relationship as strong, or better yet-stronger, than my zeal for my marriage relationship?  Perhaps not, but I want it to be.  The more I study, pray, watch and learn, the more I trust.  The more I trust, the closer we become. 

After 36 years of marriage, my husband and I have people say we look and act a lot alike.  Just another reason to compare our relationship with God with marriage.  The longer we spend time with someone, the more of their attributes we take on. 

Lord, I want to spend so much time with You that I begin to look and act more and more like You until I reach the place where others see only You and are drawn to Your love and compassion through me.  Make me zealous for Your kingdom.


Galatians 2:20 - I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

The Great I AM

God said to Moses, "I AM Who I Am;" and He said, "Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, 'I Am has sent me to you.'" God furthermore said to Moses...,"This is My name forever, and this is My memorial-name to all generations."  Exodus 3:14-15

Do you ever get the what-if's?  This morning I sang "If That Isn't Love" and the what-if's started running through my mind.  Today it was, "What if Abraham had said no when God told him to offer Isaac as a sacrifice?"  Would God have decided that since mankind wasn't willing to go the extra mile for Him, then forget it; Jesus could stay home with Him?"  That may seem moot, and it truly is, because Abraham did NOT say no and Jesus DID come and die in our place, but my mind still wonders. 

The next why had an answer: Why did God ask Abraham to do this in the first place when He knew He was going to provide the ram substitute?  Why not just tell him to offer the ram?

At least part of the answer, the part I can understand, is simple - we learn through seeing, hearing, and doing.  Abraham's experience needed to take place in order for us to get a bit of a grasp of how hard it was for God to offer Jesus in our place.  It makes us think about how awful it would be to be the one to give up our only physical child so that others could live.  Granted, God knew Jesus was coming back.  Abraham knew that God would give him Isaac back as well, because He had to fulfill His promise of making a great nation through him and Abraham knew God never breaks a promise.  Just as Abraham had to suffer his child's cries of, "What are you doing Daddy?  Why are you tying me up?"  As his cries grew louder and more agonizing, Abraham had to want to grab him, hug him and cry out "NO!!  I'll not do it!!"  Instead, he took his knife and would have gone through with it in faith.  

God could have made Abraham go through with it and then simply raised Isaac back.  Look how many times He raised people; Lazarus, the widow's son, the woman's son Elisha prayed over, Tabitha and Jesus Himself, but He showed more mercy in staying Abraham's hand.  He didn't force him to do what he Himself was about to do.  Rather He showed through providing a ram that He would take care of all sacrifice Himself by sending Jesus as the Ultimate Sacrifice for us.  

God still had to suffer Jesus' cries of, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do!"  This cry tells me God was angry at us, not just our sin - which He sent Jesus to deliver us from - but us, for putting His Son through this.  Jesus was crying out for God to forgive us for putting Him on that cross!!  Thank God for listening to those cries!!  But then He had to hear Jesus cry out, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?"  God could not look on the sin that Jesus had taken on Himself, so He turned away.  Perhaps there was more to it, like not being able to bear seeing His Son's suffering. When a child in a store wanders from his parent who has looked away and gets lost, he cries out, "Daddy, where are you?" when the child is the one who has wandered, not the dad.  To hear those cries grieves the parent and tears his heart.  Jesus willingly took on our sins which hid Him from God's view, but His cries still must have agonized His Father to the point of His heart tearing with grief, just as the earthly father's heart tears to hear his child in fear and anguish.

God truly is the great I Am.

I AM Healer.  I AM Deliverer.  I AM Love.  I AM Forgiveness.  I AM the Way to heaven.  I AM Truth.  I AM Life.  I AM Fortress, and so VERY much more!!

The song I was singing this morning was one my momma used to sing around the house.  It goes as follows:

He left His kingdom in heaven knowing His destiny was the lonely hill of Golgotha, there to lay down His life for me.

If that isn't love, the ocean is dry, there's no stars in the sky and the sparrow can't fly.

If that isn't love, then heaven's a myth, there's no feeling like this, if that isn't love.

Even in death He remembered the thief hanging by His side.  He spoke with love and compassion.

Then He took him to paradise.

If that isn't love, the ocean is dry, there's no stars in the sky and the sparrow can;t fly.

If that isn't love, then heaven's a myth, there's no feeling like this, if that isn't love.

And love it is, for, "God IS Love!!"  I John 4:8

Worship in Times of Loneliness

Oh magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.  Psalm 34:3

Father's Day rose with hope renewed.  I went to Sunday School to teach as my husband went to Mom's to clean and hopefully bring her back with him to church worship.  Things didn't work out quite as expected and he ended up getting to worship late.  However, when we got home we had a lot of fun.  All of our children were able to be here, so we had 15 people running around in our little house.  There was a lot of laughter and storytelling during lunch, then the adults went in to watch episodes of "Call of the Wild Man" while the children went with me to make their "surprise" of banana splits.  They each had their own stations.  I dished up ice cream, the youngest offered fresh strawberries and/or pineapple, another offered to cut up bananas, the third had 3 flavors of syrup, the fourth had 3 kinds of crushed candies, the fifth had miniature marshmallows, the sixth had whipped cream and the last had maraschino cherries to top everything off.  There was a lot of picture taking during this event.  Afterwards the adults went back to stories, TV and laughter as the kids went to the basement to play.  Suffice it to say, all went home satisfied and happy.  We had clean up to do, but it was done with laughter as we went over the day's events.  Then came evening.

Around seven pm my man of the hour was called to work.  It was a simple bottom plate, so I expected him home in an hour.  That was not to be.  Another call came and then another; total of two bottom plates and a water main break.  Normally I am fine with this, though I have a little trouble getting to sleep.  When I tried to go to bed last evening though, I felt a terrible loneliness for my husband.  I started to cry and so decided it was time to pray.  I cried out to God to keep him safe and to bring him home early if possible.  The thought ran through my mind, "but the longer he is out, the more money he makes."  I immediately said, "Lord, I don't care about the money!  If it is possible, would You please make it where he can come home much earlier than he thought?  If not, okay, but I would really like him to come home sooner than 2 or 3 am."  After praying, I determined within myself that now I was going to trust God to do what was very best for us, went in and turned the TV on very softly as I curled up in my husband's chair with his pillow and my little blanket.  I dozed off and woke when I heard a truck.  I figured it was too early, so closed my eyes again only to open them to the door lock being opened.  I jumped up as he walked in the door!  It was 12:45!!  I was so happy to see him!  My heart literally sang praises to God as I told him how much I had missed him.  He looked surprised, but pleased as he hugged me.

I am discovering in these past few studies I've done just how exhilarating it is to choose to trust God and watch Him work.  Not everything goes the way I originally thought it should, but it always turns out to be what is right and best.  Even when I don't see all the results, I can know in my heart of hearts that all is well, because He is control instead of me.  He does so many amazing things and is truly worthy of our exalting His name to all the earth! 

Sing Praise

Sing to Him, sing praise to Him; speak of all His wonders. Glory in His holy name; let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.  Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually, remember His wonders which He has done.  Psalm 2-5

Sometimes I marvel at how wonderful God is and how I tend to take Him for granted.  Every day I should be saying, "Thank You," over and over and over again, yet I just go about my merry way.  It is not that I am not grateful; I am - very much so, but just as I enjoy gratitude from those I set out to help, I am sure, since I am made in His image, that God desires our thanks as well. 

Just the act of waking in the morning and being able to get out of bed, having food that is nourishing to eat, having decent clothing, a well-built house to live in and care for, neighbors who care about me, a garden to tend, a church family to go to with sorrow and joy alike, you all who are kind enough to read the things I write and encourage me with thought provoking messages, and the list could go on to fill a book - all these things are reason enough to shout my thanks to the Lord for all His kind wonders.  So I go back to singing His praises. 
Singing praises has always brightened my day, lightened my load, inspired me, and filled my heart with joy.  I used to go around singing praises each morning when my children were still living here.  They complained that I was too happy in the mornings, yet if I didn't sing, they asked what was wrong.  Now they are all grown and married and I tend to only sing once in a while.  There is no excuse for not praising my wonderful God, so I go back to singing praises.

Tomorrow I am to sing a special during worship.  God has been preparing me to sing this particular song for a while.  It started about a month ago when our then choir director asked me to do a special.  I offered to play a flute solo, but he said he'd really like me to sing. I looked through accompaniment CDs and knew when I saw this one, it was the song I was supposed to sing.  At first I was scheduled for May 26th, but was asked to change it to June 9th.  I agreed until I realized we would be getting home from vacation the 8th and I would have no time to practice and get in sync with the CD.  I asked to change it to tomorrow.  I understand why God arranged things the way He did with this.  I needed time to let the words really sink down into my spirit and become part of me before I sing it.  It is Trust His Heart.  With all that is going on in our church family, the world around me, my extended family, etc. I needed this song.  For those who don't know the words:

All things work for our good, though sometimes we don't see how they could.

Troubles that break our hearts in two sometimes blind us to the Truth.

Our Father knows what's best for us.  His ways are not our own.

So when your pathway grows dim and you just don't see Him,

Remember you're never alone.

God is too wise to be mistaken.

God is too good to be unkind.

So when you don't understand, when don't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand, trust His heart.

He sees the master plan and He holds the future in His hands.

So don't live as those who have no hope.

All our hope is found in Him.

We see the present clearly, but He sees the first and the last.

And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him.

He alone is faithful and true.  He alone knows what is best for you.

God is too wise to be mistaken.

God is too good to be unkind.

So when you don't understand, when you can't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand, trust His heart!

Have an extremely blessed day and offer up songs of worship, praise and thanksgiving for His loving kindnesses poured out on us each day!!